Fulfilling Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
To
have a great marriage, you must remain sexually active with your Spouse! Do you
know that many marital problems can be
related to not having your needs met sexually? Most couples face the
frustration of having one spouse with a consistently stronger sex drive than
the other.
The
Bible tells us how we can manage our sex lives in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 The
husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to
her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the
husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body,
but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for
a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come
together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of
self-control.
The verse states that couples should make love
whenever the other Spouse wants to have sex. That means even if you are not in
the mood at the time, you need fulfill your Husband or Wives needs and wants.
Do not attempt to wait until both of you are in the mood, because more than
likely, that will never be the case.
Most couples use excuses why they are not having
their needs met sexually. Here is a list of reasons couples use when they are
not having their sexual needs met.
1) The Husband or Wife does not have a strong desire to
have sex. If you find that you or your Spouse does not
have a strong desire to make love, please visit a Doctor and have the necessary
tests done. The Doctor can run test to check hormone levels. If the Hormone
levels are off in the body, this could be the reason for a lack in a sexual
drive. Men and woman can have a low libido,
but this can be easily fixed.
2)
We are both too busy to have sex. We are all leading
busy lives with a lot on our plates, however, this is not a reason to neglect your
marriage–including our intimate time with your spouse. If we truly feel
like we never have time to have sex with our spouse, then we are simply TOO
BUSY. Something has to give. We need to sit down with our spouse
and see what we need to remove from our schedule to make room for
sex. It’s as simple as that–but it is easier said than done.
Once we make room in our schedules, we need to follow through on our commitment
and do our best to have sex with our spouse on a more regular basis. When
you both prioritize time to be intimate with one another, your relationship
will thrive (and let’s face it–you’ll both feel amazing, too).
3)
There is no attraction anymore. It breaks my heart to
think about the number of married couples that are no longer attracted to their
Spouse, but unfortunately, it’s a common problem in marriages. Most of the
time this feeling does not come from not having an attraction to their Spouse;
it comes from Satan. He has influences such as pornography. Our society is
obsessed being perfect and watching porn allows the watcher to fantasize
about having sex with a flawless person. The porn
industry is at an all-time high, so therefore an individual who wants to
watch porn can easily have access to it. Most of the time Spouse’s will turn to
it for enjoyment. Watching porn causes disillusion and
disappointment in a marriage, because you will feel that your spouse needs to
look like the actors/actresses and your sex life will need to portray similarities
of the porn that is being watched. Watching porn is a sin in the eyes of
God and it destroys the marital bed. Martial sex is so much more than the
physical, although physical attraction is part of it. The
couples with the best sex lives, doesn’t necessarily mean the most attractive
couples; they are the most emotionally-connected and committed couples who
refuse to settle for a boring sex life.
4)
Sex feels like it is mandatory or a chore. Many of the emails that we get talk about sex
feeling like it is chore with their Husband or Wife. When I see a Husband or
Wife feel that way, I want to scream! SEX IS NOT A CHORE–it is a beautiful, way
for couples to show love for one another. Sex should be enjoyable and
heartfelt. We should NEVER allow being tired or stressed out to hinder our
marriage of sex. You should place having sex with your Spouse a top
priority in your marriage! Find ways to have fun with sex, trust me you will
not regret it. If you learn to place sex as a priority, it will become
exciting, something to look forward to and something that the two of you will
enjoy sharing together.
When you make consistent
lovemaking a habit in your marriage, you’ll be strengthening the marriage in all kinds of ways. Here
are just a few examples of how more sex in your marriage could have huge
impacts:
·
Having sex can
lower levels of stress and frustration
·
It will bring
you and your spouse closer together physically, spiritually and emotionally.
·
Having more
sex with your Spouse can help prevent adultery.
Written by: Stephanie Boyette (Adorned Wife)
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