Finding the balance
Staying Connected
I know that our love for each other is very strong and that we have the favor of God on our marriage, so I did not have any doubts about our marriage. I just wanted to figure out why I was feeling as if my marriage had became disconnected. I knew that I had to find a solution to the problem and fast.
Everyone has three needs in life: Love, Security and Meaning.
Love-To know that your Spouse is unconditionally committed to your best interest
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you" (John 15:12).
Meaning-To know that our lives have a purpose
"I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me" (Psalm 57:2).
Security-To feel accepted and a sense of belonging
"Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge" (Proverbs 14:26).
God gave us these inner needs to be able to know when something was missing from your life and to draw us closer to him. When we do not have our needs met, we begin questioning things. All I knew was I was not feeling any of the three needs. I started praying that God would show me what was causing these feelings to arise within me. All I knew was that I was not feeling connected to anyone lately, because I have been stressed about life in general. We are moving into a new home, the children are ending the school year, summer vacations, bills, book deadlines, etc.
It felt as if the stress of life was beating me down and it was taking a toll on me. I was becoming short tempered, lashing out at my family and I noticed that every little thing was getting on my nerves. Usually, when I have a bad day my Husband has a way of making things better, by talking or praying with me. Nothing was helping the feelings that I was feeling inside and I felt as if the world was not understanding me.
Instead of turning to the Lord and seeking his refuge, I was expecting my Husband to fix everything. Now do not get me wrong, my Husband is amazing and can do just about anything he sets his mind to doing, but some things only God can fix. I started realizing that my expectations for my Husband have been too high and that is not fair for him. I have been expecting my Husband to be able to magically way a wand and fix the problems that life has thrown us and that is impossible. The only person that can fix everything is God!
I finally figured out that it was not that we had a wall up around either of us. I realize that God is the only one that can fix me and that the problem was with myself, not with my Husband. Also, I needed to have some quality alone time, to focus and pray. I needed to spend time in prayer with God, to fix myself. Wives/Mothers, we all need to remember that there is nothing wrong with having time to yourself. Everyone, including Husband's deserve to have at least a day to ourselves. With that being said, lets all take a moment to look inward, before having negative thoughts or too high of expectations toward others. Instead of always assuming the problem is coming from your Spouse, take a moment and realize that the problem could be coming from within yourself. Thank God that I was blessed with an understanding and loving Husband and that he understands that nobody is perfect.
Article Written By: Stephanie Boyette (The Adorned Wife)
After a lot of prayers and communicating with each other, I figured out what the problem was!
Everyone has three needs in life: Love, Security and Meaning.
Love-To know that your Spouse is unconditionally committed to your best interest
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you" (John 15:12).
Meaning-To know that our lives have a purpose
"I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me" (Psalm 57:2).
Security-To feel accepted and a sense of belonging
"Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge" (Proverbs 14:26).
God gave us these inner needs to be able to know when something was missing from your life and to draw us closer to him. When we do not have our needs met, we begin questioning things. All I knew was I was not feeling any of the three needs. I started praying that God would show me what was causing these feelings to arise within me. All I knew was that I was not feeling connected to anyone lately, because I have been stressed about life in general. We are moving into a new home, the children are ending the school year, summer vacations, bills, book deadlines, etc.
It felt as if the stress of life was beating me down and it was taking a toll on me. I was becoming short tempered, lashing out at my family and I noticed that every little thing was getting on my nerves. Usually, when I have a bad day my Husband has a way of making things better, by talking or praying with me. Nothing was helping the feelings that I was feeling inside and I felt as if the world was not understanding me.
Instead of turning to the Lord and seeking his refuge, I was expecting my Husband to fix everything. Now do not get me wrong, my Husband is amazing and can do just about anything he sets his mind to doing, but some things only God can fix. I started realizing that my expectations for my Husband have been too high and that is not fair for him. I have been expecting my Husband to be able to magically way a wand and fix the problems that life has thrown us and that is impossible. The only person that can fix everything is God!
I finally figured out that it was not that we had a wall up around either of us. I realize that God is the only one that can fix me and that the problem was with myself, not with my Husband. Also, I needed to have some quality alone time, to focus and pray. I needed to spend time in prayer with God, to fix myself. Wives/Mothers, we all need to remember that there is nothing wrong with having time to yourself. Everyone, including Husband's deserve to have at least a day to ourselves. With that being said, lets all take a moment to look inward, before having negative thoughts or too high of expectations toward others. Instead of always assuming the problem is coming from your Spouse, take a moment and realize that the problem could be coming from within yourself. Thank God that I was blessed with an understanding and loving Husband and that he understands that nobody is perfect.
Article Written By: Stephanie Boyette (The Adorned Wife)
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