Look to yourself for change

Preventing the big "D"




It is not uncommon to hear that a friend, family member, or a co-worker is going through a divorce. What most people do not realize is that divorce is an individual problem. It cannot be generalized. In some cases, divorce is not solution, because one or both spouses feel the marriage can be saved from divorce.  Divorce may be right for one person and wrong for another.

Not all marriages can be saved from the big "D" word, but when a Husband and Wife agree to putting lots of time and effort into fixing the problems, divorce can be avoided. The key thing to remember is, divorce takes place first in the mind; the legal proceedings follow after.  If you and your Spouse have a negative attitude about your marriage and toward each other, then your marriage will not work.

When you are silently resenting your Spouse and have hostility toward them, you are being unfaithful. You may be asking yourself, "How is having negative thoughts toward my Spouse being unfaithful"? If you are having negative thoughts and resenting your Spouse; you are not faithful to your marriager vows. Your vows are to love, cherish, and honor your Spouse all of their life.

You can learn to overcome having negative thoughts about your Spouse, through prayer, praise and thinking positive thoughts about your Husband or Wife. Once you begin to start thinking positive and loving thoughts about your Spouse, you will find peace and harmony.



A few things to start you on your path to divorce proof your marriage:
  • Never discuss your martial problems with friends or family - Friends and family will usually give you the wrong advice.  It is usually biased and prejudicied. Always keep in mind that two people living together will have clashes of temperament, periods of hurt and restrain. Never tell anyone about the unhappy side of your marriage. Keep your personal business between you and your Spouse. 
  • Stop trying to make your Spouse into someone that they are not  - Attempting to change your Spouse is foolish and often times will result in divorce. These attempts will destory their pride and self-esteem, 
  • Pray with and for your Spouse  - Do not take your Spouse for granted.  Always show appreciation toward your Husband or Wife. The way to build a peaceful and happy home is to use a foundation of love, harmony, mutal respect and faith in God. Pray with your Spouse before meals, in the morning and at bedtime. 
  • Never go to bed angry - Forgive your Spouse before you go to sleep. Never bring anything negative to the next day. Attempt to talk out the problem, so that you can both have a peaceful and restful sleep.
  • Tell your Spouse that you love them  - This may seem simple. but the more a Spouse hears and feels that they are loved; the better all situations will be. 
Written by: Stephanie Boyette

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